Outreach

Last night our PhotogenX community joined together for an evening of food, fun, and fellowship. And most importantly, our outreach teams and locations were announced! Since we were first told about outreach possibilities a little over a week ago, we have all been seeking the Lord's will, talking with our school leaders about what He tells us, and waiting eagerly for this disclosure. 

So, here we have... 

 

TEAM SOUTH AFRICA!!!

Our team is composed of sixteen people of all ages from Canada, Korea, and the U.S. We are united by our mutual passion and love for the Lord, as well as our passion for the nation of South Africa. We will depart for South Africa on June 28 and spend the month of July traveling around in a "bus" (a former army truck) visiting different villages throughout the country. August and September will be spent in Cape Town working with the Voice of the Voiceless ministry. 

As I watched our team gather together for the first time, I had an overwhelming sense of the presence of God among us. We come from all different backgrounds and locations, yet God has placed a call on each of our hearts to spend three months serving Him in South Africa. I felt a unique sort of unity among us, binding us together as a family. 

I am so grateful to my family and friends (and my awesome church!) for their support and help to make this mission outreach possible. You are all a part of this team, as well! Thank you for your openness to the Spirit of God and your willingness to serve Him. 

I know that God is going to do incredible things during the three month outreach, both in the lives of the team members and in the lives of the people to whom we are ministering. I can hardly wait to begin the journey! 

Wrong Rights

"My Maker is my Friend;

His name is written on my forehead,

My name is engraved on His palm."

So, I am being confronted by this issue of surrender on all sides... in my Bible reading, in random paintings I see, in this week's reading for my classes, even in songs coming from the open window of a church as I walk down the beach. 

It is a process that God has been taking me through for the last several weeks, and the more I surrender, the more my eyes are opened to other areas in my life that need to be surrendered. 

Over the weekend, a new dimension was added to my whole concept of surrendering. I spent Saturday by myself at the beach, soaking up the sun, processing the week's teaching, talking to God, and studying the contrast of the palm trees against the brilliant, vivid blue sky (in-between frequent re-applications of sunscreen...the only part of me that burned was my eyelids). I also read the book assignment for the week, "Making Jesus Lord" by Loren Cunningham (YWAM founder). The central theme of the book is the importance of laying down your rights in order to be able to fully and freely serve God. This goes a step beyond surrendering desires, possessions, etc., to surrendering any rights we feel we have... right to be treated well, right to be happy, right to not be taken advantage of, right to financial security... the list is endless, and, I'm sure, varies from person to person. Human rights are highly emphasized in American society. And I'm not saying it's wrong! One of the reasons I am here is to be able to fight for the "rights" of people being unjustly treated around the world. Holding onto our individual rights is, however, contrary to the principles of God's Kingdom. 

As a sidenote... the whole idea that we have rights is slightly amusing when you take into consideration the "whole scheme of things"...  We live in a universe that is so immense our minds cannot comprehend it--nor our best scientists and longest telescopes calculate its dimensions. The universe and everything in it was set into motion by a Creator who placed every star in the sky, knows the exact number of sparrows in the world, and will ultimately be the judge of every human. We only live because He "breathed the breath of life" into us. Everything we have, we have only because He placed it on this earth. The most powerful political leaders are mere children at play in comparison to His power and His control over the universe. No matter how much control we think we have over our lives, we never know what lies even five minutes ahead; our entire lives can change in a second. For all this, humans can be fairly egotistical and confident in themselves. I think that our demanding of rights is an example of this. 

To be a Christian means to be a "Christ follower". Jesus never asks us to do anything that He didn't do. He was the most selfless individual to ever set foot on earth. He gave up His "right" to a family, a home, a career, financial security, respect, safety, comfort, fair treatment... and ultimately, life (to name a few)! And yet, as well as being human, He was also God. So the God of the universe gave up His "right" to remain in heaven and descended to earth (where he was mocked, persecuted, slandered, and brutally murdered) and then to the depths of hell. As well as giving up His most basic rights, He made the ultimate sacrifice by giving up His life. 

He never asks us to do anything that He didn't do.

As a "Christ follower", I want to follow in His footsteps. There are a lot of aspects to this; learning to live a selfless life and laying down my "rights" is one of them. None of us can ever attain perfection, and that, I believe, is not what it's about anyway. It is a process, a day-by-day striving to be continually more like Christ. 

For me, right now, "striving to be continually more like Christ" is taking the form of learning to surrender everything in my life and lay down my rights. I feel sort of like an onion, with multiple layers that need to be stripped away. These outside layers keep my "core" (spirit) from being able to fully connect with my Creator in the way that He designed. They keep me from being able to live in the fullness of His presence.

And that is what gets me out of bed every morning: a yearning for His presence. 

Surrender.

How much of myself am I willing to give Him? How much of my life am I willing to lay down for Him? 

These two questions have been going through my mind all day. So often we sing about surrender, about giving our "all" to Him. But at the first sign of discomfort and hardship, we all too often turn and run. Jesus didn't promise us a life of ease, He promised to never leave us--to walk through the storms of life with us.

His heart is for the broken ones, the sick, the oppressed, the "least of these", the "invisible" ones that are shunned and hated by this world. And it is for these people that He asks us to pour out our lives. 

How will I respond? How will you? 

Renewal

I am feeling better! And there are no words to express how good it is to be feeling better...to be able to stand up without feeling like I'm going to pass out (and then actually passing out), to move without feeling like I've been run over by a truck, to be able to breathe, to be more "tan" colored than "black and blue".

Our classes took a little bit of a different form for the first three days of this week... rather than having a "lecturer" for our morning class times as we normally have, we joined with the other two DTS's that are currently going on and divided up into small groups and read aloud the entire book of Genesis. I have read the book many times before, but reading it within the three days made it a very different experience than any I've had previously. We serve a crazy God! There are many, many events recorded that would make most Christians today very uncomfortable!  Set aside some time to scan through the book of Genesis, and I guarantee any box you have placed around God will be shattered. 

We had a meeting with our leaders to discuss our outreach, the three-month phase following the three-month lecture phase. The majority of the group will be going to Central America for outreach, where they will spend most of three months in Panama, and then divide into small groups to go to either Cuba, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Costa Rica, or Colombia for two weeks. A main focus of this outreach will be to launch the Spanish version of "Voice for the Voiceless" (a prayer book published by PhotogenX focusing on many issues such as child prostitution, HIV/AIDS, and infanticide). The teams will also spend time with different indigenous tribes located within Panama's dense tropical jungles. 

There will also be one team going to South Africa for the three months. This team will spend the first part of the outreach living out of a bus and traveling around the nation to minister in different villages and communities serving through photography, evangelism, etc. They will then team up with the Voice of the Voiceless ministry located in Cape Town and help them in their ministry to communities located around Cape Town. 

Please be in prayer for me as I prayerfully make the outreach decision and seek the Lord's will as to what continent He wants to send me to.  Since hearing about this DTS, my heart has been to go to South Africa. Part of this is because I am interested in the possibility of working with the Voice of the Voiceless ministry in Cape Town long-term, so this would be a great opportunity to meet the leaders there and get a feel for what the ministry is about. But I also have a heart for the huge need within the continent of Africa, and the thought of being able to get to Africa--any part--is incredibly exciting. There is so much beauty and treasure there within the souls of the people, but along with that there is so much oppression and hurt.

At this point, I think I will probably be going to South Africa at the end of June. But I am open to both outreach locations, and I am praying about it because I want to be sure that I remain in the center of the Lord's will. I'd appreciate your prayers! Please let me know if you feel you have any "words" from the Lord for me regarding this. It is so exciting to think about finishing up the lecture phase and being able to use what I have learned during this time! 

Rest.

I joined the land of the living again today, a little battered and bruised, but feeling better at least. I think I am beginning to forget what it feels like to not hurt. My body is very colorful right now. 

I think God is trying to teach me something... like, maybe, to depend completely on Him and on His strength, rather than my own (which I currently have very little of.) But also, the whole concept of rest. I feel like I have been in a heavy storm this past week; it reminds me of a rafting accident I had several months ago when I was sucked underwater and pulled downstream, hammered against rocks and boulders before being pulled out of the water. My body has taken a lot of hard hits this week, but more than that is the feeling of not knowing which direction is up, towards "air", and the helplessness of not knowing what I'll be hit with next and the inability to "fight" my way out of it no matter how hard I battle the waves. I feel like I'm waiting for a strong hand to reach down and pull me up and out of this storm. 

Sometimes--when I was rafting, for instance--a hand does come and pull us out of the storm. But other times we are left to ride it out, collecting bumps and bruises along the way. In those times, I think that our only hope is to ride it out at the very center. Every storm, no matter how intense, has a quiet, peaceful place at the center. At the center of the storm, clinging to the Calmer of storms, I know that there is hope. I want to shut my eyes to the pounding waves and jagged rocks and learn to rest in the middle of the storm... but I am still working on that. 

"I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
but there's one thing, that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true

when hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
when pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

in the lone hour of my sorrow
through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
my defender, forevermore

and I will praise You, I will praise You
when the tears fall, still I will sing to You
and I will praise You, Jesus praise You
through the suffering still I will sing

how faithful and true
sustain me through and through
You are hope and truth

You're my spring of living water."

-When The Tears Fall (Newsboys)

Stormy Days.

Sometimes, life is rocky and we think ourselves completely broken. I thought I had rather reached this point, until yesterday, when the sinus infection I've been fighting for a week worsened and I woke up feeling completely miserable. (Yes, it is possible to be in Hawaii and feel so miserable that you can hardly make yourself crawl out of bed...despite the fact that palm trees and beaches and sunshine--not to mention classes--are waiting.) My school leader, Paul, drove me to the doctor where I learned that on top of my sinus infection (and severe sun burn), I have developed bronchitis and my body is completely run down and depleted due to a stressful last few months in my life. So, no exercise or sun exposure for a week. 

That's right, I am quarantined from the sun... for an entire week!! The bright side is that I am off work duty for a week so can do what I most feel like doing... sleep. 

On our way back from the doctor, we were in a car wreck. The back of the car was pretty well destroyed, but thankfully we were both okay. Lately I had been contemplating the fragility of life and how quickly things can change; this reinforced that truth, and I am constantly reminded of it by the large goose egg on the side of my head. 

Moral of the story? There is always more breakage that can happen. Right now I feel like I have no idea what is going on with my life, except that God is still in control... and still, always, more than enough.

I would love to hear from any of you that read this blog... Sometimes this rock in the middle of the Pacific seems way too far away from my family and friends. I wish I could know what is going on with each of you, and how the Lord is working in your life! If you're partial to snail mail, my address is:

Hannah Rexroth

University of the Nations--PhotogenX DTS

75-5851 Kuakini Hwy. #430

Kailua-Kona, HI 96740

Otherwise, shoot me an email at hmrexroth@gmail.com 

It would brighten my day... which I need, being that I'm quarantined from the sunshine for a week!

New Beginnings.

Yesterday was my birthday. Today I am 21. I don't feel any different, but I look at this as marking a new season in my life. With the beginning of a new year in my life also comes the beginning of new relationships, a new love life with God, a new path to follow, new dreams to discover, new stamps in my passport... He makes all things new, and I believe that is His promise to me in this new year of life. I don't know where it will take me, but I do know that He will be alongside me every step of the way, and that is all that matters.

Since I left to come here and do this DTS, I have looked at it as an adventure that I'm taking with Jesus... an adventure with an unknown ending. Yesterday while I was spending time with Jesus, He told me that He also looks at it as an adventure with me, and that He is even more thrilled and excited to have this time with me than I am! That was a bit mind-blowing to me... another step along the journey Jesus is taking me on to understand His heart and His longing for a personal relationship with me, just me and Him.

I feel like its given me some new insight into my life, as well. Jesus never wants me--or any of His people--to get hurt. But we live in a fallen world. And when we do get hurt, He is there to pick up the pieces and craft them into something new and beautiful. There is such incredible depth to the loving, Father heart of God; it goes beyond our comprehension. I feel like I am standing at the edge of a bottomless well that I long to dive into, to drown in.

I have been on a journey of gaining new understanding of the nature of God and His desire to have a relationship with me, but this was a sort of breakthrough for me. Jesus is never the causer of pain, but He is always there with His arms open wide, hoping the pain will cause me to run to Him and allow Him to heal, comfort, and restore as only He can. He desires only good things for His children, but He works through times of brokenness and pain to restore the heart to His original plan for it, intimately connected to His. 

I never imagined that I would spend my twenty-first birthday in Hawaii, photographing sea turtles on the beach. It was like a birthday present from God. At the end of the day, my friends took me out to Bubba Gump's for ice cream. Afterwards as I was flying along the coast on the back of a moped, listening to the waves crash against the rocks, I experienced an example of what my--and any--adventure with God should look like. He wants me to fly with Him, to close my eyes and cling to Him, letting Him lead and trusting Him implicitly. He wants me to soar, on His strength. 

Hakani

We discussed in lecture this morning the issue of child prostitution and the selling of children into the sex trade. It made me cry; how can anyone in this world be so sick, so perverted? Each of the millions of children are so precious, so beautiful, so loved by the Father God. He holds them so close to His heart; He wipes each tear; He longs to hear them giggle and play like the little children that they are. I am undone by the sick things being done to God's little ones around the world. 

Another issue we have examined--and an issue that PhotogenX is heavily targeting--is that of infanticide. I heard the story this morning of Hakani, a baby girl born into a remote indigenous tribe in Brasil. She was the first girl, after four boys, and the family was overjoyed at her birth. But as time passed it became clear that she was not developing normally. As is customary in this particular tribe--and so many other tribes--the parents were told to kill the child. They knew it had to be done, but could not bear to do it. They committed suicide to avoid taking their daughter's life. Hakani was taken by the villagers to be buried alive. She was hit on the head with a shovel so she was unconscious, but as she was thrown into the hole and covered with dirt she woke up and began to scream. Her older brother could not bear to hear her cries and unburied her from her grave, running with her in his arms to their grandfather's hut. The grandfather said that the girl must not be permitted to live, so took out his bow and arrow and shot her. The arrow missed her heart and went into her shoulder instead. They decided to let her live, but they would give no care or attention to her. She lived outside the hut under a banana leaf and dug insects out of the ground to eat and drank when it rained.

When Hakani was five years old, she was near death and her brother dropped her off at the doorstep of a local missionary. She weighed 15 pounds. She didn't look human.

When the missionaries found her, they placed her in a hammock and prayed over her body all night. At 5 a.m. they went to bed, feeling there was nothing more to do. When they awoke, she was lying in a mess larger than her body of insects, dirt and worms that has passed through her system. They began to feed and care for her, slowly opening her heart to love. It was months before they were able to actually touch her. Doctors said she would never walk or talk; it was a miracle she was even alive. 

Years have passed; Hakani is now a healthy young teenage girl that cannot stop laughing, singing, and dancing. She is a miracle; she is one of thousands of infanticide victims that was spared. She has brought the issue of infanticide to worldwide attention and debate. For more information and to see photos of Hakani, visit www.hakani.org 

Her name, Hakani, means "smile." She is a beautiful, precious child that nearly had her vibrant life snuffed out. 

This is the heart of PhotogenX--to give a voice to the children of God (of all ages) that have no one to fight for them. 

These are the things that break His heart; these are the things that concern Him--not the size of a church or the style of worship or the "cool, hip" youth group. My prayer is that He will speak to the church, to open their eyes to what is going on around the world. We are Christians--we are His works to be active in bringing about change in our world. Begin to ask Jesus to break your heart over the things that break His. And be prepared to share the raw pain that He feels for the abuse of His precious little ones. 

Unaware.

"I am free at last,

unaware of my fears,

unaware of my shame.

Nothing else matters here,

but glorifying your name.

Unaware of everything,

Knowing you're aware of me.

Tell me how I got here,

I couldn't make it on my own.

Just tell me I can stay,

'cuz it feels so much like home.

And I lose all track of time,

When I look into your eyes.

Your love is all I know.

I'm aware I'm in a place I couldn't be,

if you weren't there to call my name,

and rescue me."

I did not write this, although I feel the words are my own. It was a song that played in the prayer room (my new favorite place on campus) today. Jesus is beautiful; when I stop speaking and simply rest in His presence and allow Him to speak to me, I am overwhelmed. 

Destiny.

For any of you who have been wondering whether I'm actually at a missions/photo training school or just chilling at the beach... CLASSES STARTED TODAY!! 

For the next three months, my days will follow a similar schedule: BIble/missions training in the morning, work duty in the afternoons (yay, recycling!), and photography training in the evenings. I woke up this morning full of excitement to dig into the "meat"--to begin exploring the richness of God in the course material laid out for us over the next three months. Each week will have a different area of focus. The focus for this week is learning how to recognize and hear God's voice. 

As I was sitting in lecture this morning, I was contemplating hearing God's voice, the times when I have clearly heard God's voice, and the times in the past when I have been desperate to hear from God and received no response. The times I have most sought to hear directly from Him is when I am seeking direction for my life. 

What God wants most from me is relationship. For my whole life, I have been concerned about my life purpose and somehow "missing" it... From a young age, I read stories of heroic, nation-changing men and women who fulfilled an earth-shattering destiny for God. I grew up asking, "God, what is my destiny? What am I going to do with my life? Why am I here on earth?" I have been terrified at different periods throughout my life of missing out on my destiny. But Jesus' answer to that question is, "Seek me." His heart cry is for intimacy with us, His people. So often people run around busying themselves doing the work of God. But they miss out on the most important thing, and God's greatest desire for them--relationship. 

This thought came to me as a great relief, because always worrying about "missing" God's purpose for me is stressful!! But if I am passionately pursuing intimacy with Jesus, then I cannot miss His plan for me--I will be leaving it day by day. Intimacy is the key, and everything--guidance, direction, future plans, answers to questions, etc.--stems from that. Rather than being concerned about finding and fulfilling God's "huge" destiny for my life, I need to be consumed with passion for my relationship with Jesus. God will lead me into my destiny, step by step, as I am in a place of constant worship. It may not all make sense; it may look like we're jumping off a cliff into a vast unknown, it may look like life is taking a series of steps that lead nowhere, or creates a maze (like the view from "down below" rather than a plane window). But he will faithfully direct each step, and give me the next piece of the puzzle in His time. All I need to do is worship, and rest in His present. And keep walking. We can never just stand; when we are moving, God can lead us and even redirect us if we are going the wrong direction. But if we stand still, we get stuck in place... like a little goat I used to have who's hooves got stuck in the mud (he later died of bloation). 

Jesus does have a destiny for every person. But that destiny could be doing high-profile work that will effect nations for generations to come, or it could be wiping a tear from the face of one of His hurting child that no one else sees, or it could be serving a mission base by collecting and sorting mountains of recycled products, as I will spend my afternoons doing for the next few months. 

I have a mail address now and would love to hear from you!

Mail can be addressed to the following:

Hannah Rexroth

University of the Nations-photogenX DTS

75-5851 Kuakini Hwy. #430

Kailua-Kona, HI 96740

the TRUTH of it all.

Before Jesus left the earth, He said to His disciples, "I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot hear them now. But when He, the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into ALL the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to You." (John 16:13-14). Jesus' heart is SO full to speak to us. He longs for us to know all truth. He yearns to share the innermost parts of His heart with us. Jesus went on to say that He was for this reason sending a Helper to share all truth with us. One of our privileges as followers of Christ is to walk in and know His light and truth. The Holy Spirit longs to commune with us, to speak truth into us, to be invited to fully invade and inhabit every part of our being. 

The devil often uses life events to bring us out of the reality of God's truth and fill our mind with lies--lies that, if bought into, will cause us to forget our true identity in Christ. We have the right to claim that, to live in His identity! He left His place with God to come to earth and die to give us the possibility of that reality--membership of the Heavenly Kingdom and an earthly life lived in His presence, with the Holy Spirit as our guide and teacher. How it must grieve Him when we fail to walk in His truth and instead buy into the lies the devil tries to ensnare us with to take our eyes off Christ. The key, I believe, to guard against the devil's lies is to be always in His presence. Things that are of the devil cannot abide in God's presence. His presence cloaks us, cocoons us in His truth. And when we are walking in His truth and light, we are able to be fully effective for the Lord because we are not hindered by the lies the devil tries to use to limit our effectiveness. Well, that is my thought for the day. Hawaii continues to be beautiful, and Jesus continues to always be more than enough. 

Aloha!

Aloha from Hawaii!  I stepped off the plane in Honolulu and was embraced in one of my favorite things on this earth... sunshine! After smacking myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming and hugging several palm trees, I headed to the YWAM University of the Nations campus, my home for the next three months. There is beauty to be found in every part of this world, I know, because it is all part of a masterpiece created by the Master Creator. But to me, nothing is as beautiful as palm trees, warm breezes, and ocean waves. Located on high ground, the YWAM base overlooks the ocean and its 45-acre campus is filled with palm trees (I am mesmerized by every one I encounter), tropical flowers, and fragrant flowering trees. Being that it is Hawaii, everything is open... including the classroom and the cafeteria; and even our dorm rooms have only slats in the windows.  It is wonderful.

Perspective

"This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things that are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

-Phil. 3:13-14

I've always marveled at the view from a plane window. Up there, I can see all the way to where the earth blends into the horizon. Everything makes sense... the layout of cities, the nicely plotted squares of property, the roads weaving and winding to connect everything. 

But the people "down there" have a severely limited view, trapped within what can often seem like a nonsensical maze (at least to me, and my hopeless sense of direction!). 

Out of a plane window everything looks peaceful, almost surreal. As I stared out my window at the thousands of miles of desert, mountains, and houses passing below, I began to wonder what was the reality of the people whose lives I was getting a glimpse of from above. What fears, worries, and challenges do they face that they feel hopeless to rise above? Every person has a story;  some may be happy, while others wonder where to find the courage to face another day. What if they could look at their small plot of life--surrounded by endless expanses of land--from my view from a plane window far above?  To be able to rise up and see it all from a different perspective changes everything. 

I contemplated that as I crossed the mainland, because with Jesus, it is possible for that to be our reality--to view things from above, through His eyes, from His perspective. When we are in His presence we rise above the reality of the natural world and enter the reality of His kingdom. Heartache, fears, challenges--everything seems so small and insignificant in His presence. They fade away. They cannot abide in His presence. I want His reality to be my reality.

Hawaii is beautiful! I am exhausted, but perfectly at peace in the knowledge that I am exactly where God would have me... on a rock somewhere in the middle of the Pacific... 

My heart's desire for these next six months is that the Lord would continue moment by moment to fuel my desire, passion, and love for Him. I want living "above" the natural world and seeing things from His perspective rather than my own to be a lifestyle, rather than an occasional relief.